Sunday, August 2, 2020

Making change

There are no rules that say life will be easy. I think I discovered that when all the childhood and young girl fantasies came to fruition. Marriage was hard and even more difficult the older I got. Finding oneself then combining that with someone else is truly a challenge, and there is not always a winner.

As little girls, we played with our dolls and pretended to marry the most handsome boy we know. Babies. Not doll babies. Sometimes they come as a surprise. Sometimes they are sensibly planned. And with many families, they sometimes come at great expense and trial and error. But we don't get the full impact until that day the baby comes home with no instructions, no timetable and absolutely no voice to help you out. No, life is not easy, but then it isn't supposed to be.

Losses. No one told us how to hold together a breaking heart as we lose loved ones. No one told us about the pain and missing. Again, a change, a life lesson. Change in appreciation of what we have. Change in understanding our own mortality. Change.

Over my many decades, I have changed. Most times for the better. Probably the most significant change came when my children were on their own, and I was a single woman. It was the first time in my life that I had no life-events to look forward to. I really hadn't discovered grandparenting yet. I discovered a voice I never knew I could have. I could look at the past and figure out a little more about just who I was and why. Indeed it was an awakening. I wish everyone could have one of these.

Who are you? What do you like about yourself? What do you give up of yourself and want back? Well, we can't go back. However, we can find the gifts we have to bring. We can make the world better by what we learn. We can actually be us....a single Shouldn't we all be?

Yes, life is about give and take. So often it feels more like give and someone else's take. Yet in answering that voice within yourself, you will find new answers, new parts of you. You will find adventure and creativity in whatever form that takes. You will discover that you are merely a piece of the puzzle and not the entire puzzle. You are needed in the wholeness that you can be.

How do you start? Mine started with writing whatever came into my seemingly empty head. I discovered that it wasn't so empty.

Yes, I discovered grandparenting. I'm still learning about it. Life is a wonderful journey. If it weren't for the mistakes and pitfalls, we might never discover ourselves.

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