Monday, August 17, 2020

Trundling on

Twins. Boy and girl. We have long passed the time of diapers, cribs, pull toys and all the baby-like things that seemed to cover time and space when legs were shorter and words were new. Then we advanced, quickly, to tricycles, ball toss, hide and seek and bigger toys. It was a time of shared baths and shared beds when sleepovers occurred. A time when Emma played boy things and Nolan played girl things. But time passes as to do the phases of childhood.

We want bunk beds! was the cry that sprang from two children who had never had to make a top bunk nor as an adult sleep in the bottom one, banging your head against the above bed. No, youth has wonderful oblivion I often envy. No, we would not be getting bunk beds. True, it was time for separation. Whenever they came to visit, instead of stuffed toys and blankies we now had remote cars, scooters and roller skates. They are growing up.

Our house is not large. It is plenty for a couple of oldsters who like to sit and watch birds. It is large enough for visitors, especially those two smaller ones who decide to sleepover often. Thus it is important to have spare sleeping quarters. Why my son and wife couldn't have two of the same sex is beyond me. Certainly would have made it easier and cheaper for us. Ah, but we have what we have and love them dearly. They are indeed an adventure.

"How about a trundle bed?" I asked. After a long explanation and pictures showing exactly what a trundle was all about I receive this reply, "If we don't like the trundle bed, can we have bunk beds?" I prayed they liked the trundle.

Nolan was convinced that he would need to sleep in that little space under the other bed. It was not until it arrived that he finally got it. Did they like the bed? Are we sending it back for bunk beds? The twins and Loren immediately set into action the building of the beds.

When the Grands come to visit, I am always amazed that I have new pictures that appear on my phone. I don't know how the twins do it, but I learn a great deal when they 'borrow' it. After their overnight visit, I checked my pictures. Sure enough, there were various pictures of the new trundle bed (their beds). Then there was a video Nolan had taken. In the picture, he sings as he takes a video of the beds made up for their sleepover. "Love it, love it, love it, do-dee-do-dee-do."

We won't be ordering bunk beds. The kids got beds they love even more, especially after working with Loren to put them together. The beds have been a lesson in growing up for all of us. Best of all, I have a sweet video. Do-dee-do-dee-do. Happy sleeping! Happy grandma.

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Making change

There are no rules that say life will be easy. I think I discovered that when all the childhood and young girl fantasies came to fruition. Marriage was hard and even more difficult the older I got. Finding oneself then combining that with someone else is truly a challenge, and there is not always a winner.

As little girls, we played with our dolls and pretended to marry the most handsome boy we know. Babies. Not doll babies. Sometimes they come as a surprise. Sometimes they are sensibly planned. And with many families, they sometimes come at great expense and trial and error. But we don't get the full impact until that day the baby comes home with no instructions, no timetable and absolutely no voice to help you out. No, life is not easy, but then it isn't supposed to be.

Losses. No one told us how to hold together a breaking heart as we lose loved ones. No one told us about the pain and missing. Again, a change, a life lesson. Change in appreciation of what we have. Change in understanding our own mortality. Change.

Over my many decades, I have changed. Most times for the better. Probably the most significant change came when my children were on their own, and I was a single woman. It was the first time in my life that I had no life-events to look forward to. I really hadn't discovered grandparenting yet. I discovered a voice I never knew I could have. I could look at the past and figure out a little more about just who I was and why. Indeed it was an awakening. I wish everyone could have one of these.

Who are you? What do you like about yourself? What do you give up of yourself and want back? Well, we can't go back. However, we can find the gifts we have to bring. We can make the world better by what we learn. We can actually be us....a single Shouldn't we all be?

Yes, life is about give and take. So often it feels more like give and someone else's take. Yet in answering that voice within yourself, you will find new answers, new parts of you. You will find adventure and creativity in whatever form that takes. You will discover that you are merely a piece of the puzzle and not the entire puzzle. You are needed in the wholeness that you can be.

How do you start? Mine started with writing whatever came into my seemingly empty head. I discovered that it wasn't so empty.

Yes, I discovered grandparenting. I'm still learning about it. Life is a wonderful journey. If it weren't for the mistakes and pitfalls, we might never discover ourselves.