Tuesday, August 4, 2015

I made it

My legs ached, my back ached and the sweat was dripping off my forehead. I couldn't give up. I knew I could make it if I tried. It was an uphill battle, but one I that had to be done. Determination and dedication was the only thing that pulled me through. I made it. Thank God, I made it.

Yep, that's the way I feel many time when babysitting the twins, age 3. At times there are other things I would rather be doing. I don't want to sit on the floor. I don't want to take a walk in the sweltering weather. I'm tired of picking up toys and wiping butts. Some days I find it difficult to be fun and to find that little bit of energy that must be hiding somewhere in this old body.

Grandma. A name that gave me a choice. I could be a grandma who looks forward to the parents picking up the kids. Not that its wrong to be that grandma, but I made a conscious decision to be more than that. I wanted my grandkids to know that being their Grammy or MeMe didn't mean old. Those sweet titles mean full of life and creativity, energy and endurance, unwavering love. When the twins were born, it had been ten years since my last grand baby. Now were had two infants. The energy I felt back then was missing. So, I decided not think about the aches and creaks in my bones. I decided to enjoy and love and fly by the seat of my pants.

One of the dearest compliments I received from a grandchild was when Gabby said, "I want to be a grandma like you someday." I wanted to have a grandma like me way back when.

We are what we allow ourselves to be. I found that in my efforts to keep up, I was stronger. In my tolerance, I was wiser. In my involvement, I grew in all ways.  For me there is no better way to spend time. I hope that I give to my grandchildren as much as they give to me. Being a grandma has been the greatest gift of all. Being the grandma that I am today means I made it.

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