Sunday, June 23, 2013

There are no goodbyes

We say goodbye in so many ways almost every day. Some are as casual as the wave of a hand. Some are much deeper as we say goodbye to slumbers end. Life is a series of goodbyes.

My trip to my roots is full of goodbyes. Of course, it started with leaving my family behind in Oregon for a month of visiting old friends and dear family in Ohio and Indiana. The main purpose of my trip is to stay with my sister. Yet I know with each hello there will be a time in just a couple of weeks as there has been in the past days of this trip where I will leave again. Those nasty goodbyes.

I tend to think that many people don't visit or  hold onto the past, because it hurts too much to say those bye words. There is so often a feeling of wanting to stay even as I say goodbye. I was last here two years ago and changes have taken place. But instead of looking at the changes that have taken place, I like to look at the beauty of what remains. No change takes away the memories. Time marches on but cannot remove the past. I know how precious is the present and embrace it more than ever before. I hug a little harder and enjoy much more.

On this trip I was happy to meet cousins I have not seen since I was a child some 55 years ago. Children who were shy way back then are eager to learn about one another. Memories flowed and questions piled one on top of another. One day we are strangers. Now we are friends. An uncles hand holding mine becomes a gift. A sweet cousin's hug and laughter warm my heart again and again. The cousin I stayed with the last visit has now a new home with the love of her life. She has grown into a happy woman living dreams she never knew she could possess. Each day of this trip is a treasure.

I know when I say goodbye that I will return again much sooner than last time. Time slips away as do those we love. I refuse to ignore saying good bye. I embrace that I can still say hello. Yes, I am missing my family. Missing those tiny toes and fingers. Those little wet kisses. When I return, the babies will be at their first birthday. I am missing my granddaughters who are on summer vacation. We need quality time this summer. All will be there when I return.

For today, I am the luckiest woman in the world. So I end this with saying hello for truly there are no goodbyes.

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