Monday, July 30, 2012

It's a Beginning

What happens when the plan doesn't go as 'planned'? What happens when everything you believed wasn't so? What happens when life plays out regardless of what you have for hopes and dreams?

"Mom, I didn't know it would be this way," said my son, the new father of twins. "Why didn't anyone tell us?"

Well, answer to that question is that you wouldn't have wanted the advice and wouldn't have taken it. I wouldn't have either when I had my babies.

The new thing now for expectant parents is called a birth plan. The doctor talks over the plan that the expecting parents have chosen. James and Lisa had planned to have a doula with them from the time labor pains became consistent until the babies were born. They wanted to have the twins naturally. Well, when Lisa suffered from preeclampsia, they hospitalized her. No labor at home. No doula. No  doula in the delivery room since Lisa was in an operating room. The babies did come naturally due to their mother's determination and strength. The entire first week of maternity/paternity leave was spent in the hospital. Another glitch.

The reality of having new babies in the home has been quite an adjustment for all of us with two instead of one. Scheduled feedings for preemies, double diaper duty and a dog trying to mother the babies keep us all busy. The family settling in easily is a fantasy.

"Honey, I'm glad you are going through this." I went on to explain that he and Lisa are type A personalities. This is going to be a challenge and a lesson in adapting to whatever pops up. Raising kids is unpredictable. Learning to adapt is a skill. I told him that I knew he could meet handle the unexpected changes and be stronger for it. He is on the best journey of his life despite the highs and lows.

"Mom, can you help me?" he asked when confronting another dirty diaper.

"I'd love to," I said.

It's a beginning.


  1. Nothing you say can really prepare another person for the exciting but exhausting journey of parenthood, especially when it is parenthood squared!

  2. So true, Susan. Two tired parents are really pulling up to the task and making it work. I am so proud of them. Soon they will see the rewards times two and a million times over.

    So nice to hear from you. Hoping all is well with you and your family.

    1. I am good. About to take a full-time job for 12 weeks plus trying to keep up with my gig, so you may not hear from me for a while. But I will try to check in when the craziness is over. The extra money I'll earn will be nice, but it's going to be a hectic fall.

    2. Wow! Whoever you work for is very lucky indeed. I don't know how you do it all now. Let me know if I can help. Ah, might be long distance:)