Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Finding Your Groove

Lost your groove? I don't think so. Never had a groove? Impossible.

I'm a mixed bag when it comes to 'groove finding'. Even as a child, I knew what I loved to do. There were things I wanted added to my life, but they were not always part of that nature I knew I possessed. Finding my groove began early and arrived late.

As a child I danced around the playroom. I'd had no formal dance lessons, but I knew how to move. I could dance all day and never stop. On top of that, I had an imagination that soared. I made up stories and created my own entertainment. I was born with everything I needed and that was needed of me to make my world and the world around me better.

In growing up, I seemed to be molded by my environment, by what others expected of me, by what I perceived as perfection. It confused me, sometimes angered me and often left me feeling inadequate. I had forgotten how it was to dance across the room and let the music fill me to overflowing. What I had known when I was a small child was lost and no one noticed or cared that it was missing.

We all get tied up with life. We travel a path trying to find what we believe instead of what our parents believed. We struggle to express ourselves without upsetting someone else. We learn survival skills. Throughout my life, I made mistakes. Some were gigantic. All were learning experiences. And many were just bumps in the road. Each took me to a new place. Or was it an old place that I had misplaced?

My children were raised. I was on my own for the first time in my forties. In my thirties, I had found my way into the arts once more. I found parts of myself that were lost and some that I didn't know existed. But after my divorce, I was forced to just survive on my own. Then I had grandchildren.

I didn't know I could draw. For some silly reason, I decided to teach my granddaughters to draw. I didn't doubt my skill. It just seemed like I could do it. And I did. We learned drawing and painting together. I had put off my writing, until one day I knew I had to do it. I wanted my granddaughters to know who I was and what I could do. Then we danced. I taught my granddaughters to listen to music, to let it fill their bodies and then to express it. There was no right or wrong. I had found my groove. I wanted them to find theirs.

We use so little of the grey matter in our heads. We can do so much more than we can imagine. So why not take steps to try something that sings to you? Why not try something that makes you smile when you think of it? Those are the messages. This is the voice of the inner self.

Find your groove. I think you'll like it.

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