Friday, February 17, 2012

Treated as Equals

They were full of questions: So what do the babies look like now? What is it like in there? How do they eat? On and on. Question after question.

Ages ten and twelve are children old enough to understand. Their questions needed to be answered. Never have I been tentative about grabbing hold of the reins on sensitive subjects. So I stopped at the bookstore today. A clerk joined me in looking for a book to share with the girls. One that explains the stages the twins are going through as they grow through these nine months.

When I picked the girls up from school today, I told them that I had the book. They were very excited. Snacks gobbled down, we sat on the sofa. Me in the middle, of course. It was my idea. We started at the front of the book where across the page spanned the growth of the baby in the uterus for nine months. Page by page we saw the baby grow from tadpole to a child covered with fine down. A baby going from a dot to one wiggling fingers and toes. The girls were fascinated.

My daughter-in-law came home (we were at her house). The girls had not seen her for a week. A week with twins means changes. The girls immediately looked at her tummy then exploded into explanation of all they had seen and learned from the book. Lisa sat down with them and answered questions. No question was overlooked. She drew them into this big family event. She was honest with them. Two girls were thrilled to be treated as equals.

Someone once told me to be honest with your kids when they are small, and they will never need to go looking for answers. they will know where to find them.

Today we shared a special time talking of babies and birth. We talked about the role of the mommy in keeping the babies safe. We talked of twins and the future...a future of which they will be a part.


  1. I agree that it's important to be honest with small kids, although you should try to gauge exactly the kind of information they are looking for. A couple of my girlfriends and I were talking about how we never got the birds-and-bees talk from our parents, and any questions we had were answered brusquely, with obvious signs of embarrassment. We all had made an early resolution to do better with our own kids.

    1. I agree completely. The talks need to be appropriate for the age of the child. All too often kids ask a simple question that we adults might take needing an in depth discussion. All too often we answer the wrong question. Answering involves a great deal of listening.