Monday, February 20, 2012

Not A Competition

She smirked. A smirk that said, "I knew it." A roll or the eyes that said, "I told you so." A child making a nasty comment putting down another child. Gossip that makes the gossiper think that he/she has the upper hand.

A coach telling his team that winning is the only option. The child who is chided for not being aggressive enough. Fans watching their team yelling profanities, taking the game personally. Employers brow beating their employees trying to make an impression or to meet their monthly goal.

On and on it goes. Dressing to make a statement. Pushing a child to shine above all others. Living a life to impress others. On and on and on.

My friend and I play Scrabble almost every evening. I would prefer not to keep score. I love to challenge myself. I am not a competitive person. I love to cheer her big point words. I don't care if I lose. The game is fun without feeling the competition.

I guess there is a place for competition. Maybe we have made gains due to competitive. But in my many years growing up (and I include my sixty-four years as part of that growing up), I have seen competition grow more damaging. Television is full of competitions mostly showing the bitter side of people. Shows depending on the mean side of contestants to boost rating. Show that seem to prove that relentlessness wins.

I don't expect the world to give up competing. I have never pushed my children or grandchildren to compete. I support them at their activities. I want them to realize that many working together can do wonders. All part of being a team.

You may not agree with me. I have many friends who are vehement about their football team. Those who push their children to show up other kids. Some have even been driven in their careers....they managed to give their boss stress that caused a heart attack when they undermined the company. A kind man who was trying to make a company about his people. I would like to see a people who took their gifts and did the best they could with them, regardless of everyone else. Perhaps I'm a dreamer. Maybe I'm a fool.

Life is not about who wins at the end. I think it's about how well we play with others along the way.


  1. Yes! Yes! Yes! I love your dream and I am a fellow fool -- and I'm OK with that! Everything doesn't have to be a competition! Great post!

  2. Grandma Kc, I thank you for the smiles you give me when I read your comments. I guess we always wonder if other people feel the same way. I've learned over time that we do have others who seem to be on the same wave length. You are definitely one of them. Thank you for your kind words.