Monday, November 28, 2011

Happy De-hackling!

Different views. Differences in opinion. Different ways of expression. Abstract thinking. Organized thinking. Right wing, left wing and winging it. Religious beliefs, none beliefs. On and on the list goes. Which one gets your hackles up?

Hackles. Those feelings we get when something goes against the grain. When small things are allowed to change a mood, maybe even a relationship. That feeling that is equated to the fur standing up on the back of a pet. That feeling of tension that comes unexpectedly and seems to capture our every thought. Hackles. I have them. You have them. Children develop them. They often develop them from us. I remember as a child fighting against the things my parents believed in. They made my hackles stand on end.

It's taken me a long time to learn to walk away from an argument or to turn a conversation away from controversial topics. I've gone from a rebel to a someone who looks behind the differences. We are all our roots.....what we take with us and what we leave behind. Sometimes looking behind someone makes it easier to understand where they are at any given moment.

This all came about yesterday when talking to good friends about a girl who is verbally abusive to their son. I asked if they had gone to the school. They hadn't yet. Their son was handling it causing the situation to change. I suggested that maybe they needed to talk to the school for the sake of the girl who was on a path of disaster for herself. Evidently, she comes from a bad home. A lone girl who is treated poorly at home and has no one to come to her rescue. Sometimes we need to walk behind the person to see where they've been.

I like that there are so many differences in our world. What a boring place it would be if we didn't have them. I like that we can change who we are and learn from one another. I even like that we can disagree. Hackles aren't worth the effort to raise them. They take too much energy that could be placed somewhere much more constructive. Maybe, in fact, they can be used to the positive.

Well, enough of my hackling thoughts.

Happy De-hackling!


  1. Sorry to say that strident political rhetoric gets my hackles up. I'm sorry to say it because there's been so much of it lately that my hackles would stay raised if I hadn't learned not to watch TV or listen to talk radio.

  2. Oh, not to be sorry. I find the best way to move away from stress is to walk out of the room, get into the car and find a friendly place, turn off the TV and/or don't answer the phone. I'm with you!