Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Brain File

She fell into my embrace sobbing. Her little body wracked with pain from everything small that seems so big to a child. I held her quickly going through my brain file trying to find the wisdom to deal with the present crisis. Grandmas do not come with all the answers.

A friend came home from school with Sydney. She is a friend of both girls. She is a year younger than Sydney and about one and a half years older than Gabs. Gabby is petite and often treated as a small child even though she is ten. She longs be respected for who she is not by her size.

Gabby brought home a paper she needed to finish so she could hand it in today. This sweet girl struggles with writing and reading. So when she has something like this to do, it is a major task. The friend purposely tore her finished homework page. I don't think it was vicious, but nonetheless, it was not nice.
The act was not my focus as I held this sweet girl in my arms. I knew the homework had to be done and that it would be a struggle for her. My responsibility was to see to the child.

My brain file didn't have a section for this situation. I was going to have to wing it on my own. So I did. I sat with her as she did her work, trying to keep the positive pushing away the negative. All the while, my heart ached for her. We did the healing together. We did the homework together.

Gabby would never purposely hurt someone. She is such a loving, tender heart full of life. Her deepest hurts come when someone purposely hurts her. She has no understanding of such acts. She is confused when vicious acts occur. So am I.

I think in the end, Gabby learned something about herself and her grandma. One more time I could be there for her and help her through her pain. One more time we could find laughter after the tears. One more time I could help her learn about respect and responsibility.

Gabby handed in her paper today. I doubt that her teacher will know that this is a very special piece of writing. Gabby also was a different person today having overcome her disappointment to achieve her goal. She is small in stature but so very big in heart.

My brain file seems to expand only by the incidents for which I have no answers. Being my age and having white hair does not make me a sage by any stretch of the imagination. Being a mother didn't give me all the answers.

I am a grandma seeking answers. Thank goodness the brain file is expandable.

On Neff Road today: Remodeling the Family Tree


  1. Your file may not have all of the answers but I bet your Granddaughter thinks you are very special for taking the time to be there for her and to support her like you did. She won't ever forget this.

  2. Don't you think we give what we ourselves would want under any given circumstance? As I learn more about myself, I feel I have more to offer. It is an unending process. She may not remember the incident, but I do think she will remember the time a grandma gave the best she could. I know she will pass it on.