Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It All Changes

She dropped down on the stair, turned her head away from me and cried. "It's all changing." I remembered.

My sisters one by one left home they went off to college. I was eleven when my next oldest sister left. They married and were gone one step further away from home. One by one the differences between me and my sisters became more evident. It was a lonely time for this girl on the farm. I longed to have my sisters.

Gabby full of energy was asked one more time to keep the noise level down as she and the dog ran around the sofa, through the kitchen and down the hall. Her older sister was doing homework. Sydney's homework load had almost doubled from a year ago. After the last request, Gabby disappeared upstairs to play.

It's hard to watch our siblings move on. There is a gap in our lives, a hole that can't be filled. The older child gives up playing with toys for makeup and girl friends. The older child has less and less in common with the younger child. I remember my children going through the same thing only in a bit different way. Boy versus girl is different. Still the change comes and there is a time of confusion when the younger child is no longer included in older kid events.

"She doesn't play with me anymore, Grammy," Gabby cried. "Some day she will go to college and leave me."

Choked with tears, I tried to give her comfort. All of the missing I have for my sisters sat heavily on my heart.

"Well, that's a long way off, Honey," I said. "What do say we do lots of fun things now?"

She looked at me and nodded. Growing up is hard.

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