Thursday, August 25, 2011

Benefit of the Doubt

Idiom: (Free Dictionary)
benefit of the doubt
A favorable judgment granted in the absence of full evidence.
How many things do we say that we really don't think about? What idioms do we use? What lays in waiting in our brains that falls on our lips creating a light that goes on in our heads? Okay, maybe not everyone has that happen, but I do. 

I was teasing a friend of mine this morning giving her memory 'benefit of the doubt'. I've said those words many times over my 64 years. Until this morning, I never gave them a second thought. Now, I love that phrase. Not only does it sound good, it feels good. Giving someone benefit of the doubt is a pretty incredible thing to do. To take a positive step. To give a second thought to our own thinking. To respect that there might be another point of view from someone else. Benefit of the doubt.

In dealing with my own children, it was difficult to go from that "I am mother. I know all" to an open mind taking in all circumstances of a situation. Even with gossip, that 'bene' should be the first thought, doubting whether something is true and, most importantly, whether it is something to be discussed....that small window of time when we stand on the precipice of diving into an action or dialogue without consideration of other views, other actions.

I seriously don't know if I'm making sense. I hear parents yelling at their children not giving them the 'bene', that thought that there might be extenuating circumstances, that things might not be as they seem. I have stepped into a situation without giving it the 'bene', not slowing down enough consider other ways of looking at something.

Benefit of the doubt. What a lovely saying.

1 comment:

  1. Good post, Pamela. I need to give my husband the "bene" more often. It seems that long-time married folk have the hardest time doing that!