Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Hmmmmmmmmm. The fish tank hums. I always wonder when I see a fish tank if the fish are truly happy. Hmmmmmmmm. They look bored. I'm bored.

"Drake," the lady calls.

They told me to be at the appointment fifteen minutes early to fill out papers (the same papers I fill out every time I come in with the same answers to the same questions). Hmmmmmmmmm. After that ordeal, I'm finally called in for the x-ray.

Hmmmmmmm. Now I'm humming. I've been sitting in the little room in my paper shorts for an hour and a half. Every fifteen minutes someone comes by to say, "He's running late." Now that's an understatement.

"Looks like you have some arthritis and swelling in the knee," the tardy doctor said. He continues to yank my knee back and forth. I'm wondering if he would let me yank on his knee after I jump on it a few times.

I've birthed babies. My pain threshold is pretty darn high, that is, until someone purposefully takes a wounded joint and tried to make it hurt.

"Does it hurt there," he asks after he yanks the knee around.

"It does now," I reply.


"How about here?"

"You know, it still hurts where you yanked it around before," I answer.

We really aren't getting anywhere. I think he is just biding time making up for my elongated wait. In truth, he wants to go to lunch.

"It is swollen, that's for sure," he concludes looking at the one knee hidden behind the other. "Hmmmmm." (Now I know where the fish get it.)

I get a couple of white sheets of paper. For only $68 I can be free of inflamation for three months.

All I can say is, "Hmmmmmmm."


  1. Like you couldn't get the scrip without the rigamarole.

  2. I often think the doctor should pay me for waiting. Hm.