Thursday, February 17, 2011

It's Not About Falling

It's not about falling but about getting up. -Scott Hamilton.

Ever notice how you can be going through your day, the TV in the background, then something catches your attention. Well, that happened to me this morning. Today Show. Matt Lauer quotes. Scott who has had a journey with cancer as well as to a gold metal knows about getting up. It sets my mind to thinking.

"Grammy, I've been doing this all day. I don't want to do it anymore," said Sydney after a loooong night of homework. I'm losing her. She is on the anger edge.

How do we explain about getting up? How do we tell our children that they will survive the current crisis? How do we teach them that they can be strong and not give up? How do we help them?

Synonyms. We had been at it for over an hour. Luckily English is my forte.

"Grammy, I need a dictionary for this part." Argh! The dictionary is in a box in the garage. We have come to the evening crisis.

So how do we handle the falling? This is a girl who wants to go to college. She has begun saving her change hoping to help with her tuition to Stanford or Northwestern.

"Honey, high school is going to require more homework than what you have now. You can do it. I'll sit with you while you do it."

Was it what I wanted to do? Heck no. I hate their homework. It sucks that I'm home and their parents are not. I've done this job once. I would like to have my time for me. Most of my life has been about my kids. Isn't this supposed to be my comfort years?

Every night my daughter comes home exhausted and hating her hours of work. She makes very little. We struggle this unemployed mom and her hard working daughter. In her wake, the kids hear the same dialogue about her lousy day. Last night was the last straw. The females in my house were driving me crazy. My patience is pretty good, but there is a limit.

I explained to my daughter that she cannot come into the house talking in negative terms about her work day. Her children need to know that she is a strong woman making a living as best she can, giving her children a good life. She needs to show her children that she is strong and does what she does with love. I told her how proud I am of facing this every day to give her children a good life. I am proud of her for facing adversity and surviving.

"Honey, I worked two jobs I absolutely hated. They were mean to me every day, but I had a job and did it. Many people go to jobs they hate. At least you have a job and an opportunity to help your family." Whew. That felt good.

Conversation was pretty much nil after that word-release. I wondered if it mattered.

It was Syd's bedtime. "Honey, when you do homework, I want you to set a length of time that you will work then take a break. I think it might help you," I said.

"How about every 20 minutes," she replied. A big hug and kiss followed.


It's not about falling.


  1. In the space of a day there are so many things to complain about. If we take a few minutes to put things in perspective,to be thankful for the things we have, it helps us to "get up."

  2. My ex-husband complained that I was negative about everything. Of course, there was much to be negative about. The negative went out the door with him. I found that the more I thought in a positive way, the more positive things happened to me.