Thursday, October 14, 2010

Leaves of Change

"Syd, you might want to put on a jacket this morning," I suggests as she goes out the door to school. Typically, she is sure she doesn't need it. The next day she dons a sweater. The temps go up. She comes home immediately throwing on shorts and a tank top.

Learning by experience. Learning to push the boundaries. Finding a voice she didn't know she had along with the mood changes of an eleven-year-old are signs of a season of change.

Maybe I felt that my responsibility was different with my daughter than that with my granddaughters. Maybe I didn't want her to be like me at that age. Maybe I was deaf and blind to what my daughter needed. This being a grandparent is so different. Maybe because I am different. I am in a new season, a season of change.

I think I know why trees lose their leaves. I think there is a higher message in those colorful pieces nature. They mark that we each have a season. Personally, fall is my season to revel in the cool, crisp air, to marvel at the color of the trees and to stop in my tracks when the geese fly over in their migration south. Fall renews me, slows me down and brings a family back into the house when the temperatures fall. Fall makes me more aware of the children in my life.

I would be remiss if I did not admit that I used to look forward to the times when the children went home after a long visit, times when my children finally went to bed, times when I was a stay-at-home mom and the my kids were off to school or now when my granddaughters go off to school. We all love those times that are worry free, activity free, noise free. Yet through the 'falls' of my life, I have come to realize that the seasons change very quickly. Those moments with our children are over all too soon.

I'm a grandparent. I have time to listen in this 'fallness' of my life. I have time to watch the evolving women my two granddaughters will become. I am the tree that watches the leaves fall away and promise to encourage the new growth of tomorrow.

Smell the fragrance of fall. Enjoy her beauty. And, most of all, dance in her leaves. - me.

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