The grandmother's touch. An older hand reaching out to stroke the cheek of a grandchild. Arms to rock a small baby, a child cuddled in the lap of a woman with the maternal touch of two generations. Memories, the scent of a grandma, everything from mentholatum to roses. A special book shared. Vague glimpses of a garden, a porch swing. Grandmother. A memory.

My memories of my grandmothers are limited since I lost both when I was a child. I do remember Grandmother Loxley lifting me from my high chair. I remember her lying in bed fading from the cancer that was winning. I remember saying good bye to her in my father's arms. Mom Johnson was an abrupt woman. The only warm memory I have is a private moment when she showed me the contents of the old family trunk reliving each prized piece. A tenderness I had not experienced crept through.
I grandmother by the seat of my pants. I'm not a studier of grandparenting styles. I do not read volumes on grandparenting. I had no mother close to me to help me parent and made more mistakes than I like to admit, and I read the books that my mother sent along with her unsolicited advice. I tried to cross the t's and dot the i's. This time I'm doing it on my terms.

When grandmaing came along, I found a new me. I knew what I had missed not having a grandma to go to, not having a grandma to love me warts and all. I decided to learn from my granddaughters how to be a good grandma. I decided to learn along with the girls. Guess what I found?! I found a new me.
"Grammy, when I grow up I want to be a Grandma," Gabby informed me when she was about five.
Ah, Gabby, it's the best, it's the bestest ever.
I know you're a wonderful grandmother. My taste runs more to nature walks than kick lines, to reading poetry instead of moderating a talk show. But that's the wonderful thing about grandparenting. We show our grandchildren our true selves in a way that we weren't able to show our children, because we were so busy parenting.
ReplyDeleteI haven't discovered all of the things we can do yet. We like poetry and nature walks as well. Some of our best times together. Susan, we are blessed.
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