Wednesday, September 22, 2010

How's It Going?

Dances. We do them every day. Some of the dances are learned as we go along. Some steps are just done by rote. We dance.

"How is it going?" my friend asks referring to the move of mother and daughter into the same home.

My answer is positive, but daily I ask myself, "How is it going?"

This is a new dance. I equate it to dancing with a partner not of your choosing. The steps are tentative. The conversation stilted. You just wait for the music to end so you can go back to your previous seat. That's not happening here. This is a dance that will last for quite some time.

My way is the right way. Her way is the right way. They are both just different. We may have lived together for 18+ years, but that does not make us compatible. I have lived alone for many years. She is finding her life as a single woman with two children. My relationship with my grandchildren is changing, and more times than not, I want my life back.

My tasks at hand:
Do not clean up her dishes.
Do not take on responsibility of dog and girls.
Do not take on financial responsibility that must be shared.
Do not pick on her or suggest where suggestions are not requested.
Be nice and share the TV.
Do not take over all housekeeping responsibilities.
Do not complain if her room is a mess.
Be there if she needs me.
Help the girls through this transition teaching them to be responsible and thoughtful.
Try to like the dog.
Do not look at the dishes in the sink and swear.
Be attentive when she comes home from work when I just was enjoying being alone.

I've always liked to dance. I'm sure I will learn to like this one as well. I just need to learn the steps and try not to step on too many toes.

How's it going? I'll let you know.

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