Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A Birthing Quandary

A quandary. I sit in a quandary this morning wondering at the nonsense of 'special days'. Yes, I sit in a quandary.....and obviously, I like the word because I've used it three times already.

For me there is a bit of nonsense in Mother's Day, birthdays, Grandparent's Day. The celebrations focus on the receivee instead of the major participant in the process of birthing. Stick with me. I will eventually make sense.

I have given birth twice. On each of those special days, I did the work to introduce two wonderful children to the world. I endured the humiliation of everyone checking out my birthing progress, the pain that surpasses all pain and a doctor and husband trying to cajole a woman who just wants to be left alone with her misery. It may be the day of my child's birth, but doggone it, I did the work!!!!

Now you might say that this is why we have Mother's Day. I don't want to be tossed into a day that has no meaning for me. The prior paragraph was my 'mother's day'. I don't want my kids to buy me dinner or flowers or candy or something I really don't need, because they are coerced by the calendar and merchandisers.

Then we top it off with Grandparent's Day. Now next to the day of the birthing of my children, the days when granddaughters were born were the biggest surprise of my life. Wow! Where did all of those new feelings come from? What happened when that grandchild was placed in my arms? It was indeed my 'birthing day'.....the birthing of a Grammy. Maybe I just like to think that every day is Mother's Day and Grandparent's Day. Lucky for me I live close to my children daily celebrating these gifts given to me in a delivery room setting.

Years ago I was in charge of a grandparents' camp. I believe I've mentioned this before. Babysitters were absent that year. Grandparents were forced to spend every waking moment with their grandchildren. Over the two day, one night camp, the grandparents and children created a family album together. I had created pages for each grandparent and each child filled with simple questions, such as: What was/is your favorite toy? What did you (grandparent) think when you first saw my mom/dad when they were born? What did Grandma look like on her wedding day? The list went on and conversations took place. A history was shared and doors were opened. This was a special two days....a sort of birthing day.

I will have another two 'birthdays' in October. One day will mark the ninth year since my granddaughters birth and another the birth of my son thirty-six years prior. They will both think I am celebrating their special days. Ha! I will be celebrating the first cry of a newborn child. I will be celebrating me on the journeys into the new territory of parenting. I will be celebrating love that came into my life.

Ah, no longer a quandary.

This post is part of a blog carnival hosted by Susan Adcox, About.com's Guide to Grandparents. If you want to write a blog about grandparents or grandparenting, please join in! You will love Susan's blog with helpful hints and stories for all parents and grandparents. Check her out at:

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