Thursday, May 13, 2010

For All The Right Reasons

For all the right reasons, yes indeed, they were married for all the right reasons.

“Like Uncle and Lisa?” Sydney asked when we were talking about feelings and relationships.

Uncle and Lisa waited until they were in their thirties to get married. Careers had occupied their lives and kept them busy until they found one another. When they finally meet on a national musical tour, it was love.

Two young girls observed every aspect of the wedding. Decisions that Lisa and James made imprinted on a junior bridesmaid and flower girl. Of course, trying on pretty dresses, finding little heels and pampered with makeup and fresh curls, was every little girls dream, but there was much more.

The first decision made by the bride and groom made was to have a wedding about family. Their siblings were their attendants, best friends married them. It was a family event. My son, having no brother, stood with his sister, his stepsister and a friend who is like a sister standing next to him. The bride was attended by her sister, her brother and her stepsister. Far from traditional and far more lovely.

Before the wedding began, the family gathered in the small chapel. The bride and groom each stood next to a beautiful candle that resembled a log from a birch tree surrounded by bits of nature. As the family of the bride and that of the groom surrounded the couple the family candles were lit. From these candles representing each of us being added to the whole, the couple lit their unity candle. The little ceremony was personal, private, moving; it was family.

The bride, groom and those attending the wedding laughed loud often during the ceremony. Friends from the east coast embraced new friends from the west coast. Two families became one.

Two girls dressed in white watched and learned.


  1. Lovely post. How wise it is to center weddings around families. Those who choose "best friends" to stand up with them often find that they drift apart from those friends that they thought they would be close to forever. One of my daughters is still best friends with her best friend from junior high. The other has been through a whole series of best friends. Family members are much more likely to stay a part of the bride and groom's lives.

  2. My childhood friend and I stood up with one another at our weddings. We were truly sisters standing there. At my son's wedding, he seated her and my sister as his other mothers. I am honored to share the title.