Friday, March 19, 2010

Watch Your Step

Watch your step!

Every step as a parent, grandparent, is a step in learning for children. How I wish I could start the walk all over again. I would be more aware of where I was stepping.

I am an observer. Can’t remember a time I didn’t watch people. I took it all in, stored it. Some of what I learned certainly caused me to make poor decisions. Some of it has over the years taught me a great deal. Some of it I even tried to emulate.

Why do we have a clearer vision when we become grandparents? Does time slow down when we are with our grandchildren? Our steps are more careful or at least they should be. I find that whatever I do, I try to see through the eyes of the children around me. I was not so wise as a parent. Oh, the mistakes I made. So busy are we living life, finding ourselves, working on our careers that we don’t realize that we are like a TV that our children watch. We don’t censor our actions. We aren’t rated on what is acceptable and what is not.

Oh, how I wish I could do it all over again. Who are the children’s idols? Who do they emulate? What do we want them to learn about those things they don’t understand or cannot control? Do we try to see the world through their eyes? I certainly didn’t. In fact, I can honestly say that what I thought was good for me, I thought was good for my children as well. I could not pull myself back far enough to be unbiased.

Oh, well, we cannot go back. Maybe we can only get old in order to see what we should have done better. At least as we get older and make this realization, we can change. That old adage, “I’m too old to change”, is a myth my friends. We are never too old to change. We have the power to change ourselves and the world around us. We get the opportunity becoming better with the years, of learning to be better through the years.

What can you change about yourself to make life better for those around you? Are there changes that you refuse to make because ‘you just can’t change’? Don’t sell yourself short. The children are watching.


  1. About change. We are definitely never too old to change, but change has to come from within, from some strange inward tectonic shift that enables us to make a change that previously seemed impossible.

    About regret. It is, I think, a non-productive emotion, once one has apologized to anyone whom one has injured. Everyone makes mistakes; some decisions which seem right at the time have unfortunate outcomes. The most important thing is to have a loving, kind and generous heart. Anything else can be forgiven.

  2. I cringe at some of the things I did when I was parenting. I think when the mistakes we made as parents were done with love, then it becomes both easier to forgive ourselves and also for our children to forgive us. I think the emotional maturity and wisdom we are gaining now as we age is part of the legacy we leave to our children and grandchildren. I believe that the ability to continue to change and grow is what prevents life from becoming static and passive. It is what fuels passion.