Sunday, June 30, 2013

The search is on

From the beginning of the new century, employment has not been kind to me. One boss died and the company folded. Another company was lost to the venture capital demons. The next two jobs were cut when marketing and public relations were phased out. Now I work for Hallmark and am seeing this job, too, come to an end.

This morning at breakfast my sister and I were talking about what kind of online job I could pursue. I listed my likes and my skills. I believe that we should follow the gifts we are given. I'm just not sure what my gifts are and where to apply these mysterious gifts. I need to find a job that suits this 66 year old age.

Wanted: A person who loves people, loves to talk and writes random things. Someone who has time on her/his hands and no money in same's pocket. A hidden background of loving antiques and the ability to seek out hidden treasures is a plus. Must be proficient on the computer and able to work from home in her jammies. Anyone fitting this description should apply immediately.

But, lo, there are no such ads. Wasn't retirement supposed to be fun? I always wanted to travel and do a grandparent's coffee table book. Requirements: Great camera and a backer to pay my expenses. Seems that isn't going to happen either.

What other dreams do I have that could be realized? Standing at Hallmark is killing my knees and back. I love taking care of my grandbabies and granddaughters as much as possible. I consider it my exercise program. I thought about writing a book on how to help grandchildren be more creative and grandparents more interactive with those aforementioned children.

What to do? For we women who stayed home with our children, the later years in life are not easy when there is no spouse. I don't regret the decision to stay home. It was a good decision. Well, at the time it was. Now it rather sucks that there is a wall that the aforementioned women must face. Aforementioned seems to be my word for the day.

Well, if any of you have any ideas about my next job. Let me know. My search is on.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

There are no goodbyes

We say goodbye in so many ways almost every day. Some are as casual as the wave of a hand. Some are much deeper as we say goodbye to slumbers end. Life is a series of goodbyes.

My trip to my roots is full of goodbyes. Of course, it started with leaving my family behind in Oregon for a month of visiting old friends and dear family in Ohio and Indiana. The main purpose of my trip is to stay with my sister. Yet I know with each hello there will be a time in just a couple of weeks as there has been in the past days of this trip where I will leave again. Those nasty goodbyes.

I tend to think that many people don't visit or  hold onto the past, because it hurts too much to say those bye words. There is so often a feeling of wanting to stay even as I say goodbye. I was last here two years ago and changes have taken place. But instead of looking at the changes that have taken place, I like to look at the beauty of what remains. No change takes away the memories. Time marches on but cannot remove the past. I know how precious is the present and embrace it more than ever before. I hug a little harder and enjoy much more.

On this trip I was happy to meet cousins I have not seen since I was a child some 55 years ago. Children who were shy way back then are eager to learn about one another. Memories flowed and questions piled one on top of another. One day we are strangers. Now we are friends. An uncles hand holding mine becomes a gift. A sweet cousin's hug and laughter warm my heart again and again. The cousin I stayed with the last visit has now a new home with the love of her life. She has grown into a happy woman living dreams she never knew she could possess. Each day of this trip is a treasure.

I know when I say goodbye that I will return again much sooner than last time. Time slips away as do those we love. I refuse to ignore saying good bye. I embrace that I can still say hello. Yes, I am missing my family. Missing those tiny toes and fingers. Those little wet kisses. When I return, the babies will be at their first birthday. I am missing my granddaughters who are on summer vacation. We need quality time this summer. All will be there when I return.

For today, I am the luckiest woman in the world. So I end this with saying hello for truly there are no goodbyes.