Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Stand With You

I know there are many grandparents raising their grandchildren and those who cannot see their grandchildren because of family estrangement. Your notes do not go unnoticed. And....I am one of you.

The fragility of childhood. Children who have no voice are placed in situations which they do not understand. Situations that we often don't understand. I sometimes ask myself what I did wrong. I answer, "I did the best I could." So why do the children suffer from loss of parents and all too often loss of grandparents? What fuels such actions that our children either walk away from their responsibilities or use their children to hurt their others? Each child walks his or her own path. "I did the best I could."

There is something that happens when we get 'older'. At least I have learned that other women and men have grown into this golden age much the same. We learn that hate and anger do nothing but destroy. We learn from the loss of loved ones what it is to cherish those we love. As grandparents, we know that we can still teach our grandchildren what love and respect look like. We can teach them our history and show them ways of peace and understanding. We learn to forgive, and we learn to be patient. We bear the anger or separation of our children as well as we can despite the deep hurt we feel. We revels in the happy times.

"Some day the girls will understand," my friend tells me. "They will always know that you are a loving person who would never use them or hurt them. They will make the decision to see you."

In the meantime, I miss them terribly.

I don't understand people walking away from their kids or using them to punish someone else. I don't understand bitterness that people cling to instead of finding help and hope in their lives. I don't understand any parent walking away from their child, their family. I know that many of you are hurting. I know that you carry burdens that you thought were long gone but are now revisited. Just know that you are not alone.

The best gift we can give to our grandchildren is a love that doesn't change regardless of everything that is thrown at it. A love that will be there when they know they can come on their own to find it. Yes, there will be a time when our grandchildren know that they can make their own decisions. A time when they learn that not everything in their lives is as it seems. A time they will understand your loving care.

I stand with you, grandparents, in this life we did not expect in our later years. We stay steadfast waiting patiently, doing whatever we can, because it is what we must do. We keep our hearts open wishing only the best for our children, for help for our children. We cherish the grandchildren we love deeply.

I stand with you.....and pray for better world.

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