Friday, June 10, 2011

It's a Good Thing

Field Day!!! The classes are spread across the field. Fifth graders are leading each activity. Parents supervise and one grandparent wanders the field looking for her granddaughter.

School is winding down. The energy on the field can only mirror the energy residing in the classrooms. Teachers get a reprieve on this Friday from children who are counting down the days. They are running their energy off on the field....not a teacher in sight.

"Can Hannah come over for a sleepover?" Gabby asks as soon as I arrived.

"I'm sure she can," I answered. "We have all summer."

Of course, I know that after about one week of vacation, the girls will be bored. Our little townhouse will be confining and piles of games in the closet ignored. All parents are praying for sunshine.

Being gone for the entire month of July will make some changes in the summer schedule for everyone here. Maybe it is a good thing. I need the month with my sisters, my friends, my family back in Ohio and Indiana. I wish I could take my family with me. I vacillated between going or not.

Sometimes I find it hard to separate myself from my family and my self-imposed responsibilities. Sometimes I find it hard to ask for things for myself. Maybe I don't know how. I have been the responsible parent. I am committed to doing all I can for my grandchildren. However, I'm also committed to myself. I know I need a break and down time without responsibility.

I don't think I'm alone when it comes to the guilt when we want a little break from grandparenting...from parenting. There's nothing wrong with it. We just wear the same suit every day and find it hard to step away.

I should have taken more breaks as a mom. I would have been a better one. So I have learned a lesson. I've learned that there are other responsible adults who can fill my shoes. It is rather egotistical of me to think that I have all the answer and that I should carry the weight.

The  children run from game to game. As I watch my granddaughter, a little niggle settles in. I will miss my family for those weeks away; however, I am wise enough to realize that my time away will offer the girls' parents new opportunities with their children. It is good thing I do leaving for awhile. Yes, a good thing.

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