Thursday, April 14, 2011

Walls Have Ears

"First they turn to their friends, then they turn to their mothers."

The dialogue caught my attention. A segment on young girls hurting themselves was on the Today show. Of course, it doesn't take much to get me thinking.....and this did.

They went on to talk about how important it is for mother to give her daughters praise. Yes, girls have the emotional roll-a-coaster, but boys do as well. Boys may not express their feelings as easily, but they have feelings they may not know how to express.

I was listening to another show last week talking about what women want men to know, about men wanting to be able to better understand women. I'm not sure what I'm getting at here, but I know what I've observe.

I often hear women talking about their husbands in front of their children, in front of their sons....and daughters. But I think that boys gather an attitude about what they are supposed to be as a man. I grew up in a time when women were geared to make the man the head of the house. Dinner was on the table when Daddy got home. The house was clean, the children eagerly waiting for Dad to walk through the door. Life was orderly and seemed perfect.

When I was divorced, I learned that sons need to talk. They need to learn to express their feelings and to feel okay about it. They need to learn respect for both sexes from their parents. That requires both parents respecting one another, or at least trying not to bash the other person.

"Walls have ears," my mother always said. Yes, indeed they do.

"Grammy, you complimented the people who make the game," Gabby said. "You didn't compliment me."

Who would think that you could compliment Mario? Sometimes what we say comes out differently to the ears of the child.

Fathers are just as important if not more so to their daughters....and sons. Fathers can set the stage for the type of man their daughters will look for some day and will open door for their daughters to talk to their husbands. Parents sharing with their children will encourage the child to share with the parent.

Well, I've talked myself out. This isn't so much for you, but more for me. I know what I missed in my life. Working with teenagers, I know what they needed. Having children and grandchildren has opened new pages in my book of life lessons.

Parents, Grandparents, we have a duty to our families to be honest, open, full of praise and available. It's a good thing we do.

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