Friday, April 1, 2011

Changes

Changes. Those moments in our lives when we change and move on not the same as we were before.

I remember when I went through menopause (sorry, guys). Having been a mother carrying her babies for those nine months, I had an extreme feeling of loss. I remember my doctor asking if I wanted to have a hysterectomy. He must have been a bit taken back when I barked a resounding "NO". There was no major reason to do the surgery. Didn't he know that was the first home of my babies????

Our bodies change. Men and women wake up to a few more grey hairs. A new ache from out of nowhere finds it way to a joint. Sitting on the floor with grandchildren tests the not-so-limber limbs.

I remember back a few years ago when I had squatted down to look at books on a low shelf at the library. An older woman stood next to me.

"I wish I could do that," she said. "If I got down there, I wouldn't be able to get back up."

Of course, I popped right up showing off my agility. Now it is a different story. My hands no longer grip very well. My hip joint and knee give me a great deal of pain. Now I get down and think how am I going to get up gracefully. My body has changed.

Life changes come in all forms. Health, marriage, babies, disappointments, losses. All of them change us from who we were into a new 'us'. This isn't all bad. I realize that I am a grandmother. I realize that I am getting older. I refuse to let my grandchildren see this as a bad thing. It's just the way it is. I have inherited bad joints, but I am still a very lively woman.

Our children and grandchildren go through these changes as well. A once girl becomes a young woman. A young boy has a new voice trying to take hold and downy hair on his chin. A child looks back at dolls and wishes she were once more a little one who crawled up on your lap where you rocked her to sleep. A mother looks at her child and wishes the same.

We cannot slow down this change that leads us through life. A friend of mine once said when he turned 55, "I have never been this age before. I think I'll try it."

I talk to my granddaughters about this thing of aging. No one ever shared any of this with me. I went into this aging blind to the pros and cons. Once in awhile an opportunity pops up where we talk of aging and later on death. Not dwelling on it, but sharing our thoughts. I cannot talk to them from the other side, but I can let them know now that I will love them forever and more. That there is joy no matter what age we reach. We can enjoy what we have at any given moment.

Changes. Sometimes I wish that they would stop. I would like to have a couple of years that just stay the same.....or get better. I would just like to have time slow down.

The child returns when a grandchild is born. We are given a chance once more to color, to play games, to toss a ball. As the child grows, we do as well. Perhaps our lessons coincide for a reason.

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends. Cherish the moments of change for each have their reward.

2 comments:

  1. Just finished reading and reviewing a great book called How We Age. The author, Marc E. Agronin, writes, "In my work as a geriatric psychiatrist, I have learned that aging equals vitality, wisdom, creativity, spirit, and, ultimately, hope." We do a disservice to our grandchildren when we harp on the negative aspects of aging and neglect the positives. I'm sure that you are not guilty of that. You are, indeed, still a "very lively woman."

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  2. No, Susan, I don't harp on the negatives, but I let my girls know that even though we have changes in our lives, we are still smart, vibrant, creative and beautiful.

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