Monday, January 10, 2011

Little Bird

They wait by the bedside. They wait. The tubes and needles are gone. They wait constantly saying good-bye.

An illness has taken him to this place, this place of dying. He has lost all, literally all. A handsome man in his forties is finished with his long struggle with depression. A sweet man who lost his home, his wife, his daughter, his livelihood, lost himself as well.

Jeff sat on the front row of the auditorium. The memorial for my ex-husband brought past students there to remember a time when they were younger, bonding in rehearsals for a musical. Teenagers blending together creating a new family that formed with each production.

After the memorial, Jeff invited those interested back to his home. In just a couple of hours, I found out that this man was a sweet, gentle spirit. We talked and laughed like old friends, those who bond over a moment in time. I saw him only twice after that night. Little did we know then what fate would befall this beautiful man.

His parents sit by his bedside. Waiting. Waiting. All tubes and mechanisms to keep him alive have been removed. A child, their child is leaving them. The difficult decision is behind them. His suffering in life is fading as he steps into the peace of death.

There was no brain activity. The pain of living for this once boy, young father, creative spirit is finally silenced. As a parent, I can think of no more painful decision to make. We are mothers. We nurture, we feed, we teach, we comfort. But life is not in our hands. We hand it over to our children. We hand them over to God.
A friend sleeps, lingering for awhile before he goes home.


Little Bird

I set you free, little bird
from your nest, lovingly I lift you
and set you free


No longer will your song fill the emptiness
No longer will you nestle in the bosom of your home


I set you free, little bird


You stopped and questioned my actions
then understood the pain of losing you


I set you free, little bird


Because you asked me to, I set you free.
                   
                             - for you, Jeff. Peace.



 

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