Monday, November 8, 2010

Gravity of Dreams

The gravity of dreams pulls us along sometimes bruising us, sometimes discouraging us and sometimes surprising us with an embrace. Always, always calling to us. 

"I want to be a fireman when I grow up. I want to be a princess. I want to be a doctor. I want to be a mommy. I want to be...."


Most children change their minds a dozen times or more as they grow up. I wanted to be a dancer. How could I not? I danced for hours in the playroom leaping from the day bed, pirouetting across the floor. All I needed was the record player and my feet that would not be still. Our church did not believe in dancing. Dream smothered. 


Hidden in the music and my dancing feet silently lurked a passion, one I was too small to acknowledge. The inability to pursue one dream silently lead me to an awareness of another that had been so much a part of me yet I didn't see it. For hours I played in that same playroom making up stories with my small Disney figurines. Peter Pan was the hero to the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio's world. Wendy was their friend and the Seven Dwarfs the silly fighters of foes. My stories changed daily never following the Disney tales. The imagination captured in those years, allowing to run free and create opened a door to a dream....a dream that was implanted in me from that first cell, a dream that had its own voice. I just had to listen.


Sometimes it is difficult to help our children find a way to listen to that inner voice. We can't afford gymnastics, music lessons, special classes that will assist our children in this search for themselves. As a parent it is not always easy to separate from our desires for our children in order to see what the child possesses. Sometimes we are just too busy trying to create a home and to find ourselves....the dreams we want to follow.


As a grandparent and as one who has made that journey, I understand that each of us needs that freedom to find ourselves. I've always encouraged my children to follow their inner voice even though at times it was a struggle. I knew that gravity of dreams would not be silenced. 

My granddaughters have yet to feel realize pull of a dream...a door waiting to be opened. They draw, they paint, they write. Sydney has discovered a renewed love of dance. Gabrielle has an active mind that is waiting to create in her own way. Sometimes I see Gabby pulling back in the shadow of her sister. A bit of defiance has surfaced. A girl struggling to be seen. This job of parenting and grandparenting is not easy. The silent messages are not always easy to define and are often played out in poor behavior with a wrong response. A voice is struggling to find its path. A gravity is pulling a little girl who doesn't know how to define it. Grandparents are a path. We should not underestimate the power of encouragement, recognition and a listening ear. The gravity of dreams sometimes needs someone to clear the way for better understanding.


The gravity of my dreams led me to writing when I was just a small child drawing stories to send to Peggy, my sister in college. The pull of this voice could not be silenced. In following it, doors opened and miracles happened. By giving in to the pull of the gravity of my dreams, I give my grandchildren the desire to follow theirs. We cannot smother this pull on our lives. I believe it is a voice that will never be silenced. I believe that when we all acknowledge and follow that gravitational force, we become a world of peace and love.


The gravity of dreams. Yours, mine, theirs.

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