Forgive me for being lax in writing daily. In these days leading up to my trip, I am buried in activity. Some of the activity is not what I want to do but what needs to be done. I will take my computer on my trip in hopes to write.
Why do I write my blog? What is this desire to put in words my thoughts, my feelings, my journey past and present? I could journal, well not really, my aching hands would rebel. Writing about my feelings is not something new. Since a child, I have written stories and written poetry. I kept a diary and later started numerous journals. So writing is nothing new to me. But why a blog?
Over the years I have been told to write a blog to help with my writing, to force me to write daily. If you are a writer, you write. My blog may have begun that way, but it has turned into another thing with a life of its own. I write not for me. I write not for you. I write because it is what I must do from a voice within me that has something to say. Something to say about this journey that I do not understand. A journey that has pain as well as joy, laughter as well as moments of utter confusion. When I began this blog, I realized, of course, that it would be about me and my journey, the good, the bad, and the lovely. I hoped that others would find themselves as well and share their journeys with me. For I believe that we are in this together.
What words fall onto the screen are not always easy to read. Sometimes the screen is seen through a veil of tears. Sometimes I cannot write quickly enough to capture the thoughts that pour from my mind. Sometimes my brain is trying to remember what was in it a few minutes before I sat at my computer. Why do I write this blog?
A way to find answers? I learn from my children, my grandchildren, from my friends and my family. Maybe this is a way for me to put it all in order that order might be found. From the mouths of babes, we learn that life is not about us, but about what we can learn from their simple point of view. We learn that they are not just small people riding the train, but they are in essence driving it. I am a better person because I learn from them and am not afraid of what I might find in myself from their words. They are the purity in life I cherish and adore.
Yesterday I sat with a young woman lying at deaths door. I could go on and on about what I felt and what I learned, but those thoughts are settling in and making themselves at home right now. What I can share is that I found my blog even more important to me. In talking with her sister, I shared how I believe that we are all connected, we are all part of an energy, a power that is not complete until we are all in tune, all aware of our connectivity. I found this awakening for me on my own in questioning my faith, my life. In finding it, I found that my journey is not about me, but about connecting with a world that normally just passes by or one we choose to ignore. I found that in this truth, others I did not know, were finding the same. All of a sudden I aware that many throughout the world were discovering this little truth that I thought was mine alone.
I write my blog because we are all on the same journey. What you bring to me, teaches me more about myself. What I bring to you is whatever you make of it. I write because I must. I express what I do because it echoes in my head until I empty it onto the ‘paper’. I was programmed with a brain full of information just as are you. Over the years, the information has been pulled out, that information that makes us create something that never was before, that information that brings new awareness, that information that invents and takes us to new dimensions. I write because I must.
Thank you for being part of this expression of thought. Life is not easy. Yet, in the pain, in the difficulty of everyday living, there is a beauty to be captured……captured in a journey of words.