Monday, December 28, 2009

In the Wings

Waiting in the wings of Christmas waiting to go on sits the wedding. Now the stage is empty, and it rushes on in all its detail and activity. We’re having a wedding in three weeks.

My son met his beautiful, future wife on the national tour of ‘Evita’. Living on a bus traversing the country dancing and singing brought these two together. Certainly it was a time of seeing each other at their best and worst.

We always hope that our children will find that one person who understands that life is difficult and that it takes a team in order to make it. These two have the determination and dedication to one another. It will be a hard journey as those of us who have tasted it know.

I wish I had known more going into marriage. I was young and full of illusions and dreams. Having had two parents who never fought or taught us what it was to resolve disagreements diplomatically, I entered into holy matrimony at a disadvantage. I didn’t know how to be one let alone two.

The Barbies came out of the closet and the older girls were excited to play with dolls with Gabby. A phase that all too soon will end. “Where do you want to live?” Dolls lived on the stairs, on the piano bench, and, after emptying cabinets, in the kitchen. “What career do you want?” What? Career?!?!? I never had that option. My cut-out dolls were always mothers. Not even sure I knew what a career meant.

It is a good thing, this training up of young girls to know that they have a voice and can pursue whatever their hearts desire. I see this in my future daughter-in-law who was brave and stepped out into the world to capture what her heart called to her. She is an inspiration to these little girls. I try to reinforce that they can change the world and make a difference, that they have gifts that only they can give. I try to open doors for them to explore and experience.

I would like to try my youth again with this newfound freedom. I would like to dance across a stage or be a journalist. I would have liked to go into a marriage as an independent woman joining another independent person working together to create a new future.

The wedding is just about to step on stage. Two young girls stand in the wings wearing beautiful gowns. They will walk down the aisle in front of the bride. In the future, I see them following the bride into a new awakening.

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